I will kick ass at squash today

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I fell, I fell,
I fell into a well..
And in this place the depth too deep
I don't know how to tell.

It pushed me down
I looked up high
It smiled at me, the world was nigh

It pushed me down
Oh, it's so dark!
I can only frown
Ich fiel stark

It pushed me down
It said don't tell
It smiled at me
And all was well.

I fell, I fell,
I fell into a well..
And in this place the depth too deep
I don't know who to tell.

Regurgitation #18

My attempt at advocating the iambic tetrameter.

I fell, I fell,
I fell into a well..
And in this place, the depth too deep
I don't know how to tell.


Reading/critiqueing poetry has always been my (developed) forte..
Unfortunately writing isn't..
Not emo enough!
Obviously I failed D:

Regurgitation #17

Rather uncharacteristically, today I proposed an impromptu match of friendly badminton... which later, I, for reasons unknown to myself, decided instead to change instead to a match of squash, much to my detriment...Basically from 4-5 I was basically "AH!"-ing and "AIYAK"-ing and "EEEK"-ing away as a more unfortunate soul was given the arduous task of picking up the squash ball everytime it failed to be returned and fell, which was, unfortunately for that poor soul, once every.. ten seconds?

"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it."

George Moore

104...

Regurgitation #16

Today was a relatively eventful and whimsically happy day..

A planned meeting with two of the most loyal, faithful and.. happiness-inducing friends I have in my circle brightened up the glum atmosphere that these cumulonimbuses brought upon those who stood in their shadows. Dear Simon and darling Augustine are, invariably, of two polar opposite personalities... but I find that, somehow, they seem to make this chaotic world around me disappear, and somehow, by mechanisms not known to my (other) friends and I, they guided me to a state of ignorance and bliss.. and for the length of two hours I was oh so happy =)

Cheers, to two of the most charming men in my life! Today was a wonderful day.

P.S. My dad, #1 charmer;

1. Introduction
Johnny says:
Hi Girlie, How r u ?
Daphne says:
Hi
Daphne says:
I'm doing very well at the moment.. Just got back from an outing with Mirian friends
2. Weather
Johnny says:
OK, how's the weather nowadays?
Daphne says:
It's still pretty gloomy.. Rain, mountain snow, strong winds..
Daphne says:
But the temperature's more tolerable.. double-digits at least
Johnny says:
OK, looks like late spring then?
Daphne says:
Yep.. but at least it's coming
3. Home affairs
Johnny says:
OK, well mummu willcall you tonite.. we're off to ZKuching on Monday to keep grandma's anniversary on Tiuesday then back on Wed to keep Grandpa's on 19th..
Daphne says:
Alright
Daphne says:
Driving or flying?
Daphne says:
We haven't had roadtrips since I was 14..
Johnny says:
driving of course.. much cheaper and (for me) relaxing
Daphne says:
Yeah
Daphne says:
Mummy told me the maid was fired?
Johnny says:
yes, found out she had been using my fax line to make lots of calls in spite of us having warned her once before to ask for permission before making calls...so that's it then for her
Daphne says:
Wow
Daphne says:
Well.. she was really quite expensive to keep anyways..
Daphne says:
Deidre and I are old enough to help around the house when we get back I guess
Johnny says:
we'll get by for now with part timers.. we were thinking also of contacting Tommy again.. whaddaya think?
Daphne says:
Well I guess that's alright
Daphne says:
But it's abit unnecessary I guess..
Daphne says:
Unless mummy's constantly holding parties I think you could save a good sum if we stopped hiring a maid
Johnny says:
well tommy was a good worker .. gets up early and has almost everything ready (although not the cleanest sweeper)
Daphne says:
Hahaha
4. Pets
Daphne says:
We could shave Jynxie and Rico and the sweeping wouldn't be such a chore anymore
Johnny says:
it's not so much their own fur but those they shed..dunno when they will shed but if you pat them sometimes they don't but again sometimes they do
Daphne says:
Yeah.. it's a good thing we don't have carpeting..
Johnny says:
we do but mostly rugs here and there.. then there are the sofas!!!
Daphne says:
I hope Jynxie hasn't ruined any upholstery yet!
Johnny says:
she sure has.. you will be able to see her signatures on at least three sofas/chairs
Daphne says:
Hahahah
Daphne says:
Oh well.. On the bright side, she adds to the "antiquity" feel of the house
Johnny says:
if she were'nt blind i would have declawed her .. btu since she is, i left them for her own defence..
Daphne says:
Well.. we could grind it? Make it less.. claw-like and destructive.. although I think that would also be to her detriment..
Johnny says:
just leave her be and try to catch her before she starts clawing away.. she knows when we shout that she's doing something she's not supposed to..
Daphne says:
Aww
5. Abrupt Goodbye
Johnny says:
well i gtg .. my car's come back from the wash and i have to send the driver back so i'll cul..
Daphne says:
Alright
Daphne says:
Talk to you tonight
Johnny says:
bibi..
Johnny says:
ya. cu 2nite. love daddy

Hmmm... #6

Joe says:
erotic poems...
Joe says:
wow...
Daphne says:
hahaha
Joe says:
"where art thou pussy,
fluttering by the warmth of my dick,
one little two little three little indians..."

Daphne says:
Hahah
Daphne says:
Shit
Joe says:
hahahaha
Joe says:

Joe says:
i suck at poems..
Daphne says:
Damn
Joe says:
what more erotic ones..
Joe says:
hahaha
Daphne says:
That's not erotic, that's obscene
Joe says:
hahahaha
Joe says:
okay...
Joe says:
ah!
Joe says:
i get it now~
Joe says:
"where art thou bosom?"
Joe says:
hahahaha
Daphne says:
Erotic ones make you high
Daphne says:
hahaha
Joe says:
hahaha
Joe says:
i cant imagine and i wont imagine
Daphne says:
Damn
Joe says:
may you be high!
Daphne says:
May you be long and high as well!
Joe says:
hahaha
Joe says:
through words... it'll take a damn good imagination to do that...
Daphne says:
Yea
Daphne says:
And a good vocab
Daphne says:
Have to be able to watch porn and be able to make it sound nice
Joe says:
hahahaha
Joe says:
watch porn, wank, clean up, happy....
Daphne says:
That's how it goes
Joe says:
not watch porn, think of good vocab, write, imagine, unhappy... cant wank
Daphne says:

Daphne says:
I see where you're going

Regurgitation #15 (Epic)

Please, bear with me and indulge in my fantasy where my opinions weigh more heavily than that of Rick Snell..

It has been drilled into my psyche an innumerable amount of times to include official definitions of queries of significant regard to the topic of my argument in the introduction of my essays for all units I have undertaken thus far.. so, as cited in Dictionary.com;

beau·ty /ˈbyuti/
-[byoo-tee] –noun, plural -ties.
1. the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
2. a beautiful person, esp. a woman.
(...)
5. an individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm: a vivid blue area that
is the one real beauty of the painting.
(...)
[Origin: 1225–75; ME be(a)ute (...)]
—Synonyms 1. loveliness, pulchritude, comeliness, fairness, attractiveness. 2. belle.
—Antonyms 1. ugliness.

So there we have it, my wonderful introduction! Now, for the harder part of trying brainwash you into thinking that along with everyone else, you and I are also beautiful, albeit not conventionally.

(which of course, undoubtedly, you and I already know but nonetheless for the objectives of my post let's assume you and I think one another to be ugly)

I am as ambivalent towards the concept of beauty as I am towards how I should approach the subject in this post.. So, naturally, being the cowardly cynic that I am I shall illustrate my perspective by hiding behind my very critical and often very unfair criticisms towards the people I hold dear (but never in my life would admit that to them).


The Illustration: The Sister.

Everyone gifted (cursed) with a sibling will empathize with me when I introduce the concept of sibling rivalry, even moreso between two female siblings as such is the situation I have been subject to since my birth. I cannot emphasize enough that I am of the opinion that the female race is arguably the most cruel and evil.

The competition encompasses anything and everything that comes to mind; academia (intellect?), height, weight (a very sensitive issue among ladies in particular, as you gentlemen will surely concur, myself inadvertently a victim), likeability amongst friends as well as family, popularity, beauty... to name the few amongst our priorities. Up till today the only area in which I have never once failed to emerge as the victor is in academia.. which does nothing to compensate the fact that overall I lose with a meagre score of 1 to her 5.

To sum it up in four words, my sister is beautiful.. and I would like to lay claim that the competition is fierce, as much as the contrary is true, and the judges are cruel motherfuckers. Oh woe is me.

Growing up beside such a perfect expression of beauty is not an easy task. The task is made more vigorous and daunting when my peers are also near-perfect epitomes of beauty... and even moreso when my peer-judges (the males) are so critical, so harsh, and so expectant that I and everything that does not fit their definition and standard of contemporary and/or conventional beauty (let us set the universal standard in regard to physical attractiveness as my sister) is subject to humorous nonetheless harsh ridicule and criticism.. and expected to swallow their regurgitation of opinions and digest it as our own, and expected to alter our physical appearances and mental personas so we may meet their relatively high standards.

And as I am indulging in my guilty pleasure that is coke and a little (or preferably more) of something more evil, I find once more that my bravery is oddly misplaced and daringly and rather foolishly state to all who know me;

Times like these I mentally curse the supreme being (whom which, in my opinion, is a mere manisfestation of supernatural powers of.. the "light" that man and mankind conjured to hold accountable for it(man and mankind)'s mistakes and wrongdoings and guilt, food for the troubled and in extreme cases, distorted conscience) for not bewielding me with hands of opaque, 100% reflective planes of silver bases and silican substances (you simpletons call them mirrors I think), so that I, in turn, may be the judge, and show them (you) that they themselves may or may not (in this case may NOT!) meet the standard of MY perception contemporary and/or conventional beauty...

However it is an unfortunate fact of life that my opinions do not weigh heavily in their (or otherwise; your) eyes. Contrastingly in the event where my opinions do weigh heavily in your mindset then you fit my definition of an intellectual being with really really good taste! Of course, you, the genius, must also accept the fact that we elite, cynical geniuses have superior intellect in which these aesthetic beings will never have enough insight to indulge in and appreciate with enough weighting...... so says me =)

(841 words.. and I have only illustrated to you my perspective of beauty by relative self-comparison with my sister)

The Argument

What an intellectual does when faced with times of staleness (simpletons call this boredom) varies, of course, according to the individual's personal preferences in regard to topics of note... me, however, I google up jokes. And this particular joke (in my humble opinion) illustrates exactly how aesthetic we (excluding geniuses e.g. myself) as human beings really are;

Beauty is only skin deep. Ugly goes to the bone.

But, alas, this is merely the starting point of aestheticism. The situation iRL is much worse..

I would like to argue that there is no such thing as beauty. Beauty is as much a marketing scheme (with reference to The Best Page In The Universe, from where I somewhat plagiarised this statement) as an iPod or an iPhone. The commercialisation of beauty... has been so successful. I doubt the need to touch on the amount of importance a lady gives to the "tools of her trade" i.e. make-up. The same concept applies to clothes, as well, in a sense, but to a lesser extent, because to walk around town stark naked is lewd behaviour (by law.. perhaps natural law?). See, for example, beauty pageants and beauty rankings; Miss Universe is an annual international female beauty contest, and the title for the winner of the contest, founded in 1952. There is even a Miss Universe Organisation ("The Organisation")... and The Organisation sells television rights to the pageant in other countries, no doubt, for profit... Is this not very obvious?

Howevermuch I may want to applaud these beauty pageants for attempting to incorporate a measurement of inner beauty in their competitions as well (e.g. talent? "Q: What would you do if you won? A: I'd go to Africa and save children from hunger and poverty"), the cynical part of me (which, of course, is the whole part of me as well, you idiot) just wants to say: "PFFFFT my fucking ass you do, you profit-orientated organisations!". And I know, deep down inside, that I am right; they are profit-minded, and constituently these pageants really do measure physical beauty... or more accurately, in my opinion, physical attractiveness, because there is no such thing as beauty; it is a marketing scheme! (it has been so cleverly marketed that it has been incorporated by mankind as an adjective, and thus, with the English language being my mother tongue I struggle to differentiate "beauty" as a term between the context of my argument in favour of my opinions and against my own opinions)

See, again, for example, the entry regarding beauty on wikipedia. Of the 1,779 words of content, 51 words relate to inner beauty, which equates to 2.8%. Considering the fact that wikipedia is open-source (is this the term they use?) which means that anyone can edit it, I daresay that these numbers are in general terms representative of the weighting of which we give to inner beauty.

For the sake of my fingers and my aching neck, we shall not discuss inner beauty, it should only be interpreted as a superficial term as contradictory as that sounds, and perhaps, when time and brainpower looks upon me more favourably, we shall discuss the topic of inner beauty.

Until then... I give up. It (the objective:trying brainwash you into thinking that along with everyone else, you and I are also beautiful, albeit not conventionally) is a collosal and impossible task for me to accomplish.

No matter how intellectually perfect my argument, there will always be one, one hundred, if not one billion, that disagree with my opinions (and those of geniuses like myself) wholeheartedly without legitimate, intellectual reason.. because they have the power to do so, and because it is an innate human privilege that a person has the sole right to stand for themselves, their opinions, principles... anything and everything. So, you see.. even if, in the eyes of my sister's as well as my own, I win the competition in the category entitled "Academia", my intellect is limited to logic, and, to my detriment, neither human understanding nor human insight... nor the philosophy of abstract concepts that mankind weighs heavily i.e. (unfortunately for those of us who are not gifted with it:) beauty...

For now, I can only present to you the theme that Moraes and Jobim danced upon in his song Garota de Ipanema, the song that inspired this post, in "Revelação: a verdadeira Garota de Ipanema (Revealed: The Real Girl from Ipanema)" by Moraes, as cited in Wikipedia;

"o paradigma do bruto carioca; a moça dourada, misto de flor e sereia, cheia de luz e de graça mas cuja a visão é também triste, pois carrega consigo, a caminho do mar, o sentimento da beleza que passa, da beleza que não é só nossa — é um dom da vida em seu lindo e melancólico fluir e refluir constante."

which roughly translates to:

'"the exemplar of the raw Carioca: a golden-tanned girl, a mixture of flower and mermaid, full of brightness and grace, the sight of whom is also sad, in that she carries with her, on her route to the sea, the feeling of beauty that fades, of the beauty that is not ours alone — it is a gift of life in its constant, beautiful and melancholic ebb and flow."

I make myself wonder; if I would one day be a good solicitor..

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